Mom Talk

Back at Work

2009-07-06T11:36:00.000-07:00

Hi all,
I am back at work. I can't believe it has been a year! Well about 13 months now. We had a great time on the coast - Deb where were you! We should have gotten together. Anyway I am all tanned as I sit in my cubicle under the flourescent lights. I am sure I will turn a nice milky white in no time. Speaking of milk I am weaning during the day and it hurts! Poor Charlie gets no more nap time nursing.
It was hard to see the little guy watching at the window as I walked away to the bus, but easier because I know they are with their Dad.

Anyway thanks for all the chats and strawberries Heidi! I miss the sun, it is rainy here (what the ? isn't that backward? global warming to blame again?)

How is everyones summer going?
Cathy

Cleaning Lady

2009-06-10T20:36:00.001-07:00

There is the possibility of a new job in my near future. It's not my dream job, but it's a step or two up the paygrade from where I am now without being too much more challenging. The catch is: right now, I get every second Friday off. In the new job, I would be working five days a week, every week.

Trying to decide whether to trade those two days off (immensely convenient for things like dental appointments, doctor appointments, and grocery shopping) for a couple hundred dollars a month is a tough, tough choice.

But in discussing it with my husband this evening, I mentioned that if this new job did come to pass, I wanted to use $50 of that monthly increase to hire a cleaning lady twice a month. He was flat-out against the idea. It turns out that this challenges his territorial pride in some way: he believes that if we are grown-ups, we should be able to take care of our own home.

Well, he may be right that that's the way it SHOULD be. Of course, I immediately countered that I SHOULD be able to stay home and take care of our child, too, but I can't, and he seems fine with THAT!

So, an informal poll. Do you now or have you in the past had a cleaning lady? Would you have one now if you could afford it? Does your husband think that's weird?

I'm ok, you're ok

2009-06-01T22:45:00.000-07:00

Hi all:

My mother used to have a pad of paper called "The Working Woman's Behind Schedule" and on one side there was a column "Things I Should Have Done Yesterday" and on the other was "Things To Put Off Until Tomorrow". I used to have a polite appreciation for it... ha ha, good one. But now I think I've finally gotten the joke.

I have been dealing with a bout of anxiety, sometime last week. Preschool is wrapping up, so I thought of it as a "done deal". Only I kept finding things I needed to do. It seemed to crest when a mom called me to ask how my money collection was going. Long, uncomfortable silence. I had agreed to collect money for the teachers from my class, and not only had I not done it, I hadn't remembered that I had to do it at all. I don't mind procrastinating, but forgetting? That shook my confidence. Then the million other little things that I needed to do seemed much larger, more menacing.

Karate has been great, except (and its a very small except) Thane has been so knackered after work that he hasn't been going to the evening practices. Timber framing + heat = one tired husband. So I've been going instead (great!) but the time spent there takes me away from the million other things I need to do... Sigh. Then a class ago I had one black belt helping me with basic kata 4, which helped me feel good and strong about my kata. Then we spent time as a class doing some high level katas, and there went the confidence again. When it came time to demonstrate my kata at the end, I found I had no balance, my moves were wobbly, I wasn't rooted at all... overall not my best showing. So another little chip at the confidence. Sigh.

But this week, I thought to heck with it all. Am I not too old for this? Have I not earned the right to be confident simply by ageing? Historically, my youth was characterized with low self esteem and this led to self limiting behaviour. I would think "oh I can't do that, people will laugh at me, people won't like me" or "I deserve to be treated like crap, I'm lucky anyone wants to be with me". That kind of silly thing. I have watched that fade away with my 20's (and leaving my job / identity), and am grateful for it. I've always looked forward to growing older, like my personality had to catch up with my mind or something. I'm finally feeling good about myself and life, and that I don't have to hide my interests and activities. So I was surprised when forgetting something caused a mini crisis. I think I'm over it now.

Who knows what triggers these things? Its like there are secret land mines hidden throughout our psyches. I am definitely looking forward to a break over the summer, and I know that I will be eager to have the routine back at the end. It's win win.

Have a good one everybody!

Heidi

Fragrances to Avoid

2009-05-20T07:52:00.000-07:00

Hi ladies:

I am a HATER of fabric softener.

I came across this article this morning (from care2.com - great site by the way). It's a long list... better go shopping without the kids :)

***

In products such as perfume, shampoo, fabric softener, bleach, air fresheners, dishwashing liquid, laundry detergent, soap, hairspray, shaving cream, aftershave, deodorants, nail polish remover, and more, synthetic ingredients are used to create fragrance. Many of these ingredients are toxic and can cause adverse reactions. Look for these ingredients in products containing fragrance and avoid them if you can:

Acetic acid, benzyl ester: Targets nerves and kidneys; possible carcinogen.

Benzyl alcohol: Central nervous system (CNS) depressant.

Diethyl phthalate: Possible risk of congenital malformation in the fetus; targets nerves.

Musk ketone: Increases carcinogenic effects of other materials. Remains stored in blood, fat tissue, and breast milk; crosses placental barrier.

Musk xylene: Carcinogenic in animal studies. Stored in blood, fat tissue, and breast milk; crosses placental barrier.

6-Octen-1-ol, 3,7-dimethyl: Extremely destructive to mucous membranes and upper respiratory tract tissues.

Toluene: Carcinogenic, Targets liver, kidneys, brain, or bladder. One of nine major starting materials for synthesis of fragrance chemicals. Addictive.

4-Vinylphenol: Toxic. May impair fertility. Toxic by inhalation. Respiratory and skin sensitizer.

2,6-Xylenol: Toxic. Harmful by inhalation. Material is extremely destructive to upper respiratory system, eyes, and skin. Corrosive.

Acetone: Inhalation causes dryness of the mouth and throat, dizziness, nausea, incoordination, slurred speech, drowsiness, coma in extreme cases. CNS depressant.

Benzaldehyde: Narcotic. Sensitizer. CNS depressant. May cause kidney damage and irritation to the mouth, throat, eyes, skin, lungs, and GI tract, leading to nausea and abdominal pain. Do not use with contact lenses.

Benzyl Acetate: Carcinogenic. Irritating to eyes and respiratory passages. Causes systemic effects through skin. Do not flush to sewer.

Camphor: Irritant and CNS stimulant. Readily absorbed through body tissues. Irritation of eyes, nose and throat, dizziness, confusion, nausea, twitching muscles, and convulsions.

Ethanol: EPA hazardous waste. May cause fatigue and irritating to eyes and upper respiratory tract even in low concentrations. Initial stimulatory effect followed by drowsiness, impaired vision, ataxia, stupor. Causes CNS disorder.

Ethyl Acetate: Narcotic. EPA hazardous waste. Irritating to eyes and respiratory tract; headache and narcosis (stupor); skin drying and cracking; anemia with leukocytosis; and damage to liver and kidneys.

Limolene: Carcinogenic. Irritant and sensitizer. Wash thoroughly after using and before eating, drinking, and applying cosmetics. Do not inhale.

Linalool: This narcotic causes respiratory disturbances and CNS disorder and attracts bees. In animal tests, it was found to cause ataxic gait; reduced spontaneous motor activity and depression; respiratory disturbances leading to death; and depressed frog-heart activity.

Methylene Chloride: On hazardous waste lists. Carcinogenic. Stored in body fat; metabolizes to carbon monoxide, reducing bloodï¿½s oxygen-carrying capacity. Headache, giddiness, stupor, irritability, fatigue, and tingling in the limbs. Causes CNS disorder.

a-Pinene: Sensitizer. Damaging to the immune system, irritant to skin, eyes, and mucous membranes.

g-Terpinene: Causes asthma and CNS disorders.

a-Terpineol: Highly irritating to mucous membranes. Aspiration into the lungs can produce pneumonitis or even fatal edema. Excitement, ataxia (loss of muscular coordination), hypothermia, CNS and respiratory depression, and headache.

1 year old Nappers

2009-05-17T09:28:00.000-07:00

This is a poll:

When did you switch your child to one nap? Or when do you think you did for those that have Mommy-memory..

Charlie has started getting up too early for me (6ish) and he is still having 2 naps, he sleeps for about 3-4 hours during the day. He is a good napper which is awesome. I feed him to sleep everytime, isn't that funny, I was so worried about falling into that pattern but it's so much better than letting him cry. He seems to know what's going on and wakes up a bit when I put him in his crib - it's like we have a deal - if I feed him to sleep he will have a good nap in his crib.

I can't believe he'll be 1 years old next week! I am sooo happy he is not a newborn anymore. Even now when I see a newborn I say to myself 'Thank god that's not mine'. To myself of course! Not that there isn't a small part of me that says aww, but most of me says 'noooo'.

Did you like your movie Heidi? Good job volunteering so much, I don' t know how you do it.

Back to Basics

2009-05-15T06:21:00.000-07:00

Hello ladies!

Well, I'm mad at my husband again, but whatever. We all knew it had to happen sometime. I just wish he could say "you know, I see your point." The bastard won't ever apologize. Not for anything. And if, as you know I do, I bring whatever event up that hasn't been apologized for, he goes into "Let's not bring that up". Jerk. He'll start feeling bad and then buy me something. Which just makes me madder. Don't buy me anything. Kalle Lasn will kick me out of the club.

However, I have an evening by myself tonight, and I'm not going to sully it. I'm going to watch some british movie I found at the library (fabulous Mrs. Ritchie). Has promise.

I have been pleasantly busy with my groups - I've lost count now. Four? Two schools, scca, and dojo. That sounds right. I was going through the president's box, and found an old lease. As I flipped through the lease, I discovered that it runs out June 30th. Oops. Plus I hadn't filed my constitution changes. What kind of a preschool president am I??? But lucky enough, I found it before it was too late. I've also heard rumblings in the wind about a new grant, so maybe tonight, as I'm watching my movie, I'll surf around and see what I can find.

In other news, I am sorely disappointed at the return of Campbell and the failure of the STV. I can't even talk about it. The only good thing was the return of Nicholas Simons, my favourite politician (closely followed by Donna Shugar) to mla status. I was a scrutineer for his campaign, and that was actually kind of fun. I got to see the gentle folk of Roberts Creek come out in their "good clothes" (I myself was dressed to the nines. Okay, eights. I was wearing mascara for goodness sake!) It was great to see so many friends and neighbours. And kids. And, I suspect, so many supporters of NS.

Kids are up! I'm off to make cereal. Like that's so tough . Matt can make cereal now, kind of nice. But if I'm up, he likes me to do it. The personal touch. All three have been sick, but looks like Matt may be coming out of it today. YAY!!!

C'est tout. Ciao for niao...

Heidi

Little chuckle

2009-05-05T06:45:00.001-07:00

Hi all:

Here's a little giggle. I have started going to karate training, and SIGH am I ever out of shape. The first day we did some sprints... I'll leave the rest to your imagination. The good news is that it has left me very determined. Shame is a good motivator *grin*

So when I came across this little gem, I had to smile. My poor little scale!

Heidi

Zukunfstangst

2009-04-26T07:26:00.000-07:00

Hi everybody!

Sunday morning - time for sharing :) I'm looking for foreign words and / or phrases.

MEIN GOTT I love languages. Really. If I had it all to do again, I'd be a linguist. I run around, yelling words and phrases from different languages, though I am fluent in very few of any... including English some days... I love the feel of different languages in my mouth. You have to do all these different things with your tongue, cheeks, lips, palate, breath... It's AWESOME!

I think my two favourite are German and Japanese. I like the "proper"ness of German - the words always sound precise, and who doesn't love precision? When I yell at my kids in the park in German, everyone responds. RAUSS!!! SCHNELL!!! JETZT!!! And yet, and by the way, spoken high German is a BEAUTIFUL language. Not harsh at all. Though, not as beautiful as Japanese! Still on my "Life List of Things to Do" is to become fluent in Japanese. I love Japanese minimalism. I love how the language can use a delicate and flowing image to express an entire sentence full of ideas. Such as: The treasure that is family. Two little "pictures" (kanji). Sigh. I wish I had such subtlety.

German does this with compound nouns. Love it. In my travels this morning I came across the above word: Zukunfstangst. And I laughed and laughed as I realized that concept permeates my family! It's not dysfunction, it's the equivalent of cultural genetics! We're supposed to be like this!!! Definition: looking fearfully into the future (especially in times when everything is going smoothly, but feeling better the harder it gets)

Ah, I love it. Someone added the parentheses section, but HOW FITTING. Don't we all know someone like this? The "don't tempt the evil on" people who shush you when you talk about something that is going well in your life? I'm trying to think of an example. Oh, I was saying how much I like Nicholas Simons, and my mother said "well, if the NDP win he'll be as bad as all the rest." ??? Now I'm not saying that isn't a faint possibility; I am saying I think my mother is depressed. She also had this little gem to add when I was waxing poetic about my little boys growing up. "Yes, they'll grow up and treat you as badly as my children treat me". Um, children? As in me too? What did I do? I know she's mad about John's wedding, but hey! *eyeroll* I wonder if she's still mad because we moved. Four years ago *tee hee*

Zukunfstangst. Who has a foreign word or phrase out there for me? Looking for foreign words and phrases! The more obscure the better. I used to be able to yell "run the police are coming" in Japanese (you should have seen me in my early twenties - so messed up in such a loveable way *grin*). I have a short list of incredibly filthy hungarian somewhere in this brain of mine. I know the difference between "thank you" and "pee pee" in Mardarin (and it ain't much of a difference!) I can bargin in Korean, thanks to Belinda, but I was so bad at it that the vendors would just give me extra. "Service!"

Anyways, anyone have a favourite phrase? Heck, I'd take an english idiom!

Have fun today, looks sunny, we'll see what happens. Still snowing in Calgary? (OMG)

Heidi

The Earth is our Mother, and we are all her children (Hindu proverb)

2009-04-22T13:28:00.000-07:00

Happy Earth Day everybody!!!

I love Earth Day. Obviously. I was hoping my surprise baby was going to be born on Earth Day, but knowing his personality now, I am not surprised he defied me by coming out later. And coming out a boy.

I love how Earth Day keeps me motivated. Like all things in winter (diet, exercise, good humour) my treehugging slips a little. The TV babysits more. I get all sucky in the grocery store and think “well, what the heck! Who cares if these strawberries came from Chile, and who cares if half of each berry is inedible because they’re white like potatoes… ME WANT UNSUSTAINABLE STRAWBERRY!!!” I start to slip – oh, I think, I’ll just dry ONE load of laundry in the dryer. ONE load of laundry won’t hurt… Earth owes me anyways. I use dead trees instead of cloth to wipe my kids’ constantly running noses. I begin to appreciate non-recycled toilet paper for its fluffy softness (this is true, the pulp from old growth trees is softer… that’s why they use old growth trees… dangit…) I drive more, because its raining. Or cold. And by March, I’m sick of being wet. Or cold.

Then there’s the discouraging events that sap my motivation – most recently, the endorsement of Gordon Campbell by none other than Dr. David (mumble) Suzuki. Trying to find enough energy to fight an endless battle, while still trying to maintain a home and raise three happy and well adjusted little comrades. Trying to stave off the inevitable depression for yet another day.

But, enough. The good news is along comes Earth Day – my New Year’s Day. A day to recommit to beliefs. To make resolutions. To celebrate spring and the outdoors. To stop spending and start living. Which is what I'd be doing if I had any money. To walk on the beach, or to town. To connect with and enjoy the community. To get on my bike and make this year THE YEAR I master the thing (thanks for the free tune up, earthdaybikepeople!). To get into my garden. To get out of this chair.

So I’m going to get started on that list right now. I think I’ll go down to the beach and watch the kids throw rocks in the ocean, before I make my gentle vegan supper.

May the forest be with you!!!

THE LORAX

2009-04-21T19:40:00.000-07:00

You know I have not read that book in forever. I love Dr Suess. The girls have read the Lorax at school. They all have pictures in the hallway by their class room. So, this AM when I am taking the kids to school, I notice these pictures. I think of Heidi. She mentioned this book a few months ago. So, then, off I go to drop off Mag's at Daycare and I head home. I was off today because I had a doctor's appt but that is later. Anyway, get home for a bit, do some work and off to the Doc's which I had gotten called into by the way. I have been having weird cycles. So, last week I went to the doctor after I had a fainting spell the night before we left Quesnel. Our doc is great and sent me for blood work and so on, but turns out that what caused the faint was going to the bathroom. Did you know that you can faint due to the stimulation of your vegal nerve? Do you know what a vegal nerve is? Is it spelllllttttt right? Anyway, 4 ways
1) someone poking you in the eye ball
2) your carotid artry being compressed
3) being submerssed in ice cold water
or wait for it
4) before, during or after going to the bathroom.........

I opted for number 4. FUN TIMES. I have fainted before, but, Kev has never seen me.
I was a picture of loveliness slumped on the bathroom floor, knickers at my knees......
nough said,

Anyway, after insistance I went to the Doc. All I could think was,, Don't make me pee in a cup.
everyone else I talked to said"" ARE YOU PREGNANT?" My response? NOOOOOOOOO

Anyway, 12 hours of fasting and 4 vials of blood later, I get called back to the doctor's today.

I have know about it all weekend and talking to other people I had it down to two things being the cause of being called back.
1) BEING PREGNANT
or
2) my blood sugar is out of control

I can now say, that NO I AM NOT PREGNANT>>>
Again, I thought a moment today about 4 minutes before I went into the doctor about Heidi.

Yes, I apparently have a problem with sugar. I had Gestational Diabeties with Mag's and I knew it could come up again in the future as a problem. Now, it is , so Now I hav to deal with it.
More exercise. I saw Cathy's post about losing weight. I understand. I am still having a problem with it 3 and a half year after having a baby.. I started running in the fall. I even did half of the April Fools Run here on the coast but, it isn't enough. I need lifesyle changes.

Well, after that exciting, not suprising news, I came home and had a healthy lunch.
This afternoon, I picked up the kids from school and we walked from their to the Roberts Creek Post Office. Guess what,, They have moved. Anyway, we went for the very first time to the Roberts Creek Library. I have lived here 16 years and have never been in there. It is lovely.
We got books and guess what
THEY HAVE THE LORAX. So, again, I think of Heidi.

I know this is now long and conveluted. However, things get busy and life rolls on but, just to let you know you are never far from my thoughts.
Hope you all have a great week
I have to pour myself a lovely glass of sparkling water with Lime because apparently I can't drink wine to often.
Ta ladies, keep pressing on
Deb

The weight isn't coming off

2009-04-07T10:37:00.000-07:00

I am finally admitting it! I am 15 lbs over what I was and my stomach is still about 6 months pregnant! argh! It's not melting off like it did with Finn. So.. anyone have any tips?
The main problem is time, I have no time to exercise. And speed. Like Heidi said, we walk but at pre-schooler speed (really slow, if there are puddles then we're at a standstill and the only thing getting exercised is my voice).
So how about some tips and strategies! How is everyone else doing?
Cath

Milk after 12 months

2009-02-23T09:57:00.000-08:00

Okay you wonderful experienced moms, please give me the low-down on milk/formula after 12 months old.

I know that babies aren't supposed to start drinking milk until 12 months. That seems to be the only universally-accepted fact. After 12 months the "how much milk/formula" question is complicated by the "sippy cup/regular cup/bottle" question and I just can't seem to get straight answers anywhere.

Should I still be giving Gwen formula after 12 months? Or should she be drinking cows' milk only? What about her iron intake? I've heard that we are supposed to wean them down to one bottle per day around this time (she's ten months). How do I make sure she's still getting enough fluids, or even enough nutrition? (She is still not a big eater: most of her food goes on the floor, in her lap, or in her hair, not much into her mouth.) How did you guys ditch the bottle and teach the kids that milk is an accompaniment to a meal, not a meal in itself?

I've tried cutting down on the number of bottles per day but it gets a bit crazy. For example, we give her dinner at 6pm, generally stuffing as much food into her as she will allow. Then she gets a bath. Immediately after the bath she gets her bedtime bottle, and she always grabs for it, gasping, as if she's been starving for hours. She finished dinner twenty minutes ago. WTF?

Question regarding Husbands..

2009-02-15T10:09:00.001-08:00

One of the few points of friction in our relationship Josh and I have are his hours. He stays up late, a lot! Usually just watching tv. I get it that he doesn't need much sleep but he loses track of time and ends up going to bed at 1am (and then needs to get up at 6am for work). Sometimes he is quite grumpy the next day, and I don't need that, I need him un-grumpy so he can help me out at supper which is a crap time of day. The kids are always fussy and crying (ANYthing sets Finn off) I am hungry and rushing around trying to prepare something. Usually there is some self-medicating with a beer involved, which backfires because it makes me sleepy. Then Josh will get home bleary eyed from lack of sleep and grumpy. ANYWAY.

Do you think I have a right to tell Josh to go to bed early? Last I looked I wasn't his Mom and I hate to be a nagging fish-wife but it is annoying!!

Did you KNOW?

2009-02-06T06:46:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpEnFwiqdx8

My mom emailed me this link. She works for Forestry and it came from to them from the deputy ministers office. It was interesting, you may have seen it. I searched it on Youtube and saw a couple of different versions of it.
I am reading a book right now called the 100 mile diet. I don't know if anyone else has read it but, it is intersting. About a couple in Vancouver who live for a year on food grown within 100 miles of Vancouver. Food for thought.....
Hope all you ladies are well, healthy and happy.
Ta for now
Deb

Signs of the times......

2009-01-18T21:43:00.000-08:00

PLEASE BE FORWARNED... There was a glass of red that went into the thought of this...........

So, Here is a question to all you ladies out there. How do you think the state of the economy will affect or effect, not sure of the vowel in this context, the state of your life? I have been busy working, Kev is busy working, families are busy working all over the place but, in the context of the world economy and how the trickle down flows, what will you do differently over the next year or two. Whether it be because of need or possibly fear, what do you anticipate having to change in your life? I wonder because on a daily basis we are being bombarded with information of how things are shutting down, how people are being laid off. What does it mean for you?
I grew some sad looking attempts at veggies in our raised boxes last year, but this year I as seriously considering using some heavy duty steer manure. Maybe that will help the limp looking lettuce and minin tiny peas that grew. Not to mention the weather. How much do we rely on water and weather for the things we grow. My thought is this year is going to place our very comfortable behinds in a place that it has never know before. IF that is so, what can we do to make it a little less dreary than what the pundents predict.

Update

2009-01-09T09:39:00.001-08:00

Hi all:

I can't believe that there is no Lorax in the Calgary library!!! Demand it!!! I'll work on getting it to you in photos maybe. I can only do so much with this internet. You might get a page a week :) Via email - I don't want to infringe on any copyrights. Tee hee. At least not HIS copyrights.

All right then, the Lorax it will be. I'll post some questions under a different post. Sometime next week. Hopefully.

Things are a little tense these days, since there have been a couple of layoffs where Thane works. And I talk to others who are on layoff rotations, and I've heard through the grapevine about someone in the reserves who is possibly getting sent to Afghanistan. Two little boys at home... (But that is gossip and has not been verified by any direct source) I'm just saying that this New Year already seems filled with uncertainty. But I'm not going to worry about it. I figure I can worry myself sick until something happens, then I'll have to worry myself sick when it happens, and what happens if nothing happens and I'm just sick for no reason? Ha! OR I can relax and be happy and positive about my life (in my carping chirping way) and save all the angst for later.

I am curiously not that busy lately, other than the kids I mean. I have no big projects, no big committments, no nothing! I think its great, though I feel strange at night when I sink into my couch in front of my warm fire and read my delicious book. Since I have free (ish) time, I have decided to sign up for a beginners sewing course. I'll let you know how it goes - if I sew myself to anything, which is a distinct possibility. Right now its not officially on, as there needs to be enough people to make it go. I sure hope it goes. I've always wanted to learn how to sew. When I was a little girl, I used to imagine I'd be living off in some shack in some unforgivable northern wilderness, growing my food, sewing my clothes, woman vs. nature - just think "little house on the prarie" in a Margaret Atwood style. I've softened some, figuratively and literally.

My little toddler is so cute, I have to go spend time with him. It occured to me the other day, as he was being cute so I'd play with him, that I should stop staring at the computer and go stare at time. The clock is ticking on my little kids. As much as I look forward to certain aspects of young childhood being over, there is a whole lot of very sweet, lovely, special, loving things that I will miss. I like to think that I will remember them all, but I suspect that as time passes, my memories of these times will grow dim and fuzzy. So I resolve to enjoy them now. Therefore, so long everyone, talk to you soon!

Heidi

Happy New Year!!!

2009-01-03T18:11:00.000-08:00

Hello ladies!

Happy New Year! Again. I must really mean it :)

I'm glad Christmas is over. I like our personal family holiday, and Thane's family is a lot of fun. There are a lot of them though. My family's holiday was awful - my parents and my brother seem bent on a full estrangement. My mother is unhappy and my father... well, he's about the same as usual for those of you who know him, only sadder. *eyeroll* When I talk to my folks, they want to talk about my brother, and when I talk to my brother, he wants to talk about my folks. They are all hurting and in need, but I'm almost embarrassed to admit this out loud... I'm getting tired of it. Especially with my mom - she rarely comes out to visit with the kids, so when I pack up three kids and head out there, it would be nice if she paid a little attention to me. The whole situation is sad, but I'm feeling increasingly irritated by it all. Therefore, I am glad Christmas is over.

Let's talk resolutions. Anyone made any? I have made a couple of "goals", they're not really resolutions, but they are things I would like to do with my time.

1. Bike more. Now this isn't really easy, what with three kids, none of whom ride solo (yet! Matt's close... ish...) and my really big hill, but it is do-able. After all, I can be really stubborn once I've set my mind to something.

2. Blog more. This _is_ easy. I always have so much to say tee hee. I was talking about the blog with Cathy, and she suggested a book club. Anyone interested? If we're doing a book club, I want to start with the Lorax. Dr. Seuss. In the library (Sechelt) for the locals. Only I don't know how the discussion topic thing works. Anyone part of a book club? WordyGirl? This seems like your territory... Any thoughts on blog projects?

Other things - I almost saw all of you over the holidays!!! That's pretty good for me, I can't seem to get plans to see adults in place. Too bad all the plans fell through, huh. Despite nature's charms, I did manage to catch up with Cathy, Louise, Deb's husband (who told me in husbandly fashion that she was fine), spoke on the phone with HannahJo (I ended up going to Whiterock that day - Thane got up and off we went) and Sarapants.

Thane and I are no longer fully separated, thanks to some intensive therapy. There has been a lot of effort on Thane's part to resolve our differences. And some things are resolved, which is good. Now I'm hoping that the changes will stick and this isn't a knee jerk reaction made out of fear. We'll see. Also, we have one big item to tackle, and that is lifestyle differences. One step at a time.

The kids are the same as ever (another *eyeroll*). Thane admitted a "new found respect" for staying at home with the kids. He can't wait to go back to work on Monday. I can't wait for him to go either. It is nice having another adult around, but I am off my personal schedule, and he drives me nuts sometimes (especially with the "if I can't throw it out, I'm not going to use it" attitude to EVERYTHING).

I'd better go - I'm trying to write this in the seconds that tick like a time bomb before bedtime. Dangerous territory.

Keep in touch!

Heidi

Sleepless in Calgary

2008-12-03T09:21:00.000-08:00

We have started "sleep-training" Charlie (he is 6 months old now, can you believe it!). I thought it was going well. Now he is used to his crib and and can go to sleep in it by himself, unfortuately this can only happen at the beginning of the night. I feed him at 11pm and then he always wakes up at 4am and 6am and cries. Josh will go in and pat him for a bit. So now I'm waking up to this, plus if Finn wakes up, plus Josh snoring. Argh! My next plan is to let him (baby) cry for longer. What do you all think?

The other problem I obsess about is that his room is too cold. So I dress him in 3 layers: onsie, flannel sleeper and a sleeping bag. I have tried turning the heater on and turning it off. If I turn it on I think he wakes up more but it is hard to say.. if I turn it off his little hands are so cold I feel too guilty. sigh.

He seems really hungry at night, either way. I am also trying to feed him more during the day but solids have been slow going, which I find odd because he seemed so hungry all the time.

Anyway how about some tips to make him sleep longer/better? The number one issue of new mothers. Except my sister in law who's baby sleeps 10 hours per night straight. grrr.

How about a picture on our blog:

Cath

Life in the fast lane

2008-11-19T08:02:00.000-08:00

Hello ladies:

I figured it was time to update, though I could just cut and paste Deb's last post, changing names and destinations of course.

I don't know about the rest of you, but time is FLYING by. I can't even see it go. We have activities almost every day (which has frustrated my "no car twice a week" policy) and I don't know how I get everything done. But somehow I do, so that's the good news.

Except I forgot to take pictures of the kids in their Hallowe'en costumes. I keep meaning to redress them... Hopefully before there's a Christmas tree in the background.

Although lots is happening, nothing is new. Except pms. I think I get pms now. I never used to. Actually, to be fair, maybe I did, but I lived alone, blissully alone. If a tree cries uncontrollably in the forest, and no one hears, is it really crazy? So maybe it's more that there are witnesses to the hormonal flux.

On a barely similar topic, a friend and I floated the idea of sending men to a post birth workshop, in which various topics are brainstormed and ideas to manage the situation are born. Such as: "What do you do when your once gorgeous wife is now leaking from every orifice in her body?" Workshop facillitators could help them come around to some acceptable answers. "Well Jim, you _could_ tell her that it's okay if dinner's later than usual, and that you don't mind if the house is a mess, but how do you think she would feel if you told your wife she's beautiful and then you order takeout food?" I would be more than willing to help design senarios, since Thane's about 1 for 206. (He rented "Family Guy: Season 1" once. That was good.) Yes, men, they try, with some success, to be supportive. Only "supportive" for a man seems to be different than that for a woman. And Thane's a good daddy. He's just not much of a "make you feel good" kind of guy. Unfortunate communication skills.

So I am typing this while Matt wanders around my computer, being distracting, despite my requests that he let me finish this in peace. Dylan is stark naked, and playing with Nico, which means he alternately makes him laugh and cry. So if my thoughts are jumbled and convoluted (or I have missed punctuation), that's my excuse.

As I said, nothing is new *g*

Talk to you all later. Wine and whine at my house, sometime late December... 22nd? 23rd? Give me your dates and I'll get a day. Or I can "meeting wizard everyone", like we're executives.

Ciao, take care and take it easy.

Heidi

LOSING IT!!

2008-11-02T05:39:00.000-08:00

THE FOLLOWING IS ONLY A RE- CREATION OF EVENTS, NO ACTUAL CHILDREN WERE INJURED IN THE VENTING THAT FOLLOWS, VIEWER DISCRESSION IS ADVISED.

HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE LOST IT? I mean really lost it. I had one of those days yesterday. I feel like a horrible human being. I mean, yes, I know I am human, but, I lost it.
We have a pretty busy household. Friday was Halloween, It was "Today is Black and Orange day" We have to have something black and orange. Ok, we find something ( the night before, I might add). Friday Am comes and Abby doesn't want to wear it because she wants to wear a tank top instead. No, the answer is no, 20 minutes later and almost late, Abby is dressed with a tank top overtop of a long sleeved pink shirt. Anyway, I am off to work, then, on my way home at 4, I get caught in a traffic accident and am running late, get home, scarf dinner, get us all dressed which took all of ten seconds, cause they really did do most of it themselves. Then, off to Trick or Treat. That took less than an hour, we were going to go to the Roberts Creek Hall after but Maggie crashed on the way home. Anyway, Sat. morning and a sugar hangover later, We have soccer at 9:20 in Sechelt. At 9:10 I am still trying to get Abby to get some clothes on. She is wandering around having a fit about going to soccer. I hate soccer, I don't want to play soccer, I hate my shin pads......... This started at 8:30 and continued on and on for 45 minutes, I LOOOOOSSSSSSEEEEEE IITTT!!!!@!!!!! Get you clothed on, get in the car, we have to go. I am not backing down at this point because as I explaing or attempt to explain to Abby, IT isn't fair to make EMMA late because she doesn't want to go. Screaming and Gnashing of teeth, we get to the field at 9:45 LATE and Emma really wanted to play. Which is hilarious in itself because she spends more time picking flowers and picking up stray feathers off the field than actually play. But, she is doing it and she does try. Anyway, One thing after another by 12 I am THE QUEEN OF MEAN. I don't know about the rest of you , but, since having kids, or pardon me, in the last year, my PMS has sky rocketed to a point that I feel like MAJOR BITCH once a month and poor Abby has gotten the brunt of it at least twice in the last 3 months. Yes, yesterday, I lost it, It doesn't happen often, but, I think yesterday could go down in the books as one for the DARK SIDE. Hope you all are handling life a little better than I am at the moment. I feel better after sharing my horrible side. Hope none of you are scarred. I feel much better today considering I went to bed before the time change and seemed to get an extra hour of sleep.
Have a great FIRST SUNDAY IN NOVEMBER
DEB

Useless Hallowe'en fun

2008-10-27T20:02:00.001-07:00

Why Carve Pumpkins?

I found this at AllRecipes:

The story of the Jack o'Lantern comes from Irish folklore. Jack was a crafty farmer who tricked the Devil into climbing a tall tree. When the Devil reached the highest branch, Jack carved a large cross in the trunk, making it impossible for the Devil to climb down. In exchange for help getting out of the tree, the Devil promised never to tempt Jack with evil again. When Jack died, he was turned away from Heaven for his sins and turned away from Hell because of his trickery. Condemned to wander the Earth without rest, Jack carved out one of his turnips, took an ember from the devil, and used it for a lantern to light his way. He became known as "Jack of the Lantern."

I got interested, and decided to google to see what else I could find. There was lots. For instance, did you know:

Halloween is actually based on an ancient Celtic holiday known as Samhain (pronounced "sow wan"), which means "summer's end", and is linked to the last harvest. It was the end of the Celtic year, starting at sundown on October 31st and going through to sundown November 1st. It was a night to honor loved ones that had passed on since the veil between their realm and ours is at it's thinnest on that night.

My understanding was that All Hallow's Eve came before All Saints Day (Nov. 1st). And that yes, the veil between their world and ours is the thinnest on All Hallow's Eve. I always loved the romance of that. There is some dim recollection of ghosts rising for one last dance around the mortal realm before descending back into death at midnight. The last bit could have been taken from pop culture in the form of spooky Hallowe'en kids' specials...

Ahem. Back to my story. As part of the celebration, people would carve turnips or gourds. As settlers began to immigrate to North America, they brought the tradition, only found that the pumpkin was WAY easier to carve than some old turnip!! Imagine. "Hey kids - grab your turnips!!" "MMMMOOOOMMMM, Matt has a gourd! I wanna gourd!!"

Alas.

Yes, otherwise it has been quiet from me. I have a couple of scathing comments on Kimberly Clark and the recent election. I also have lots to say about my current life, but since none of this is uplifting, I can't bring myself to get into it. What's the word? Oh yes, enervating. I rather enjoy talking about pumpkins. You can't experience this, but I can smell my seeds roasting in the oven. They smell great. I'm growing to appreciate Hallowe'en more and more. I heard one mother say how much she liked the holiday, even since she was a kid, because it was one that didn't end in tears! Ha ha ha ha!!!

I love it.

Take care all - don't buy huggies, pull ups, kotex, kleenex or cottonelle. I'll explain later.

Heidi

Thanksgiving

2008-10-14T07:04:00.000-07:00

Hi everybody!

I hope you all had good Thanksgivings. For my family, our was ok. My mother ended up a little upset (minor upset) because a guest brought food, so there was really way too much. I didn't mind, I didn't have to cook supper last night.

The turkey was good, it was free range, hormone free, medication free, grain fed and gently slaughtered.

And then my mom made stove top stuffing. ha ha!!

Anyways, we had a good weekend, and now I have to pay for it in sweat equity. Which is what I'm doing next. Speaking of sweating, did you all see that WordyGirl did a half marathon??? Wow. That's like 13 miles!!! Miles!!! So just over 20 km! Good for you Laura!

Matt had a couple of firsts this weekend, he went up a rock face (wow) and had a sleepover at his cousins. The rock climbing was hilarious. We went to Murrin with the cousins and Kyle is a rock climber. He's just like Matt but older - slight, blond, funny... He hooked in and went up, and he is really good! Kyle has been doing this for 3 or 4 years. Matt had been offered a turn, so he hooked in and started up. I figured he'd go about 5 feet and stop, but nope. He went up the rock face, didn't even think twice. Then once he was at the top, he couldn't get down. He is too light to let gravity pull him down, so a friend of my brother's had to go up to the top and feed the rope through. Ha ha!

His sleepover was cute too. After his ascent, he decided he wanted to stay with Kyle and Julian. So he did. He ate junk food (just a little - or so he said), played video games, watched a movie, stayed up late, went to the park alone with Kyle (no parents) and generally had a great time without mommy, doing all the things he's not supposed to do. He denied missing me. Aww. The next night, as I was putting him to bed, I asked if he missed me a little. He said "well, kinda". As he went to sleep, in someone else's pjs, he had a couple of pangs. But he got through it. Good job Matt!!!

Today is voting day. I'm not going to say a whole lot about this (but I may after the votes are counted :) I was interested in this strategic voting, but then I found out the guy who started the website is an ex liberal. Doesn't matter, there is no recommendation about our riding, its all chaos. Can anyone guess how I'm voting ha ha?

Take care ladies... Anyone else going to be on the coast around Xmas? I'm planning a Mom Talk party. So far it depends on Cathy's schedule. A little wine, a little giggle, warm fire, no kids... what's not to love?

Talk to you all soon,

Heidi

Charlie wants food!

2008-10-03T10:07:00.000-07:00

It has been quiet on here lately.
So we were at my Doctor's and she said she read a study that said that delaying solids doesn't prevent allergies, so have at 'er! (not actual words). Anyway she said maybe I should start Charlie early because he is big and sooo interested in people food. I think I might start at 5 months. Why else should I delay though? Is there another reason other than allergies? Why does the WHO say 'exclusive till 6 months?'.

Things have been ticking along here, Finn is doing ok in PreSchool. We are trying to meet more 3 year old boys in the neighbourhood which has been more difficult than I had hoped. They are few and far between here. Glenbrook is mostly retirees. The mom groups in Calgary are appalling! No drop-in groups around here at all. The place where they give needles has a 'drop-in' and all the chairs are in rows! not very conducive to socializing, plus there are no toys for big kids to play with. Basically you just leave as soon as you can. I am very dissapointed in Calgary for that, new mothers need a social support group. I'm lucky my family is here, I don't know what other new mothers do.

Hi from Nanaimo

2008-09-29T10:26:00.001-07:00

Holy Moley, this blog has been quiet lately ...

Things are going pretty well over here in Nanaimo. I am enjoying the change in the weather as it gets a little cooler. You can't get out and bask in the sun with a tiny baby anyway, so it may as well be cool and rainy outside if I am stuck inside all the time, is my philosophy.

Gwen is five months old now and is developing into quite a charmer. She is very social and smiley and whenever we are out in public strangers approach us to tell us how lovely she is. She is becoming a happier girl lately which I attribute mostly to the chiropractic treatments she got recently. She does a lot less inconsolable pain-crying these days, which is great. On the other hand, she has started teething, so our sleep has gone down the drain. We are planning to start some sleep training in the coming weeks.

How is everyone else doing?

TIME

2008-08-21T18:42:00.000-07:00

I DON'T GET IT!!!!! Where did the summer go? I don't know about anyone else, but, my summer has disappeared. It has been good. The girls have had a great time, but, next week is the last week of summer. The girls will be going back to school for GRADE ONE. I know that some of you will be sending children off for the first time. It is incredible the difference a year makes. The growth and changes in the girls is leaps and bounds from where we were last year at this time. Little babies they are no longer. Now, they want to make sure they are matching and that their hair is done nicely. OH WHAT Will tomorrow bring. All I can think of is that if Kev hadn't already shaved his head with a bic, his hair would be falling out in clumps. He had to shake his head yesterday morning while we ( all the women in the house) were arguing over which style their hair was going to be brushed in that day. They are 5 for goodness sake. He just said, "YEAH, 4 stubborn, load girls/women, boy, the future is so bright I gotta wear shades!!"
How bad could it be? don't answer that, I really don't want to know the answer yet. Well, for all of you mom's getting ready to send off to Kindergarten the apples of your eye, I am only just beginning to realize how quickly time flies. Have a great last week of summer

Charlie's big 'outie'

2008-08-11T07:29:00.000-07:00

It turns out Charlie has an umbilical hernia, which Josh and I at first mistook for a very big 'outie' belly button. It looks more like a belly golf ball (not button). Anyway I have to go to the Alberta Children's Hospital, which is a big new hospital they just built, and see a pediatric surgeon (gasp!). We'll see what she says but I really don't want surgery while he's so small. Does anyone know of other babies who went through this?

In other news Charlie is going through a growth spurt or has a cold and is waking up every 2 hours at night, whereas before he was waking up only 2x a night. It is brutal. He's a real fussy eater during the day now and we have gotten into a Activity-Eat-Sleep pattern, he eats best when he is swaddled up and ready to nap. He is really fussy while awake too. His nickname was Chuckles but I think I will change it to Grumples.

I'm officially "A MOTHER"

2008-07-16T22:09:00.000-07:00

Hi all:

Long time, no post.

I am officially a mother. Yes, I know, I officially became a mother approximately 5 years ago or so, you know, when I gave birth to my first baby. But I fought it. Then I had 2 more babies. And I fought it. At some point I found myself behind the wheel of a mini van. And yet I fought it. I managed to live in denial that I was "A MOTHER" for over five years.

So why has this changed? Television. A public service advertisement from the government. I'll describe what happened.

Some kids in elementary school say these words, and then the translation pops up underneath. I can't begin to tell you all of them, but I remember three. The first was "green" and the little translation pops up "marijuana". The second was "powder", which came up as cocaine. Then "love drug" - ecstacy. Now, although I didn't immediately recognize the names, I could have guessed those if I were eavesdropping on some teenager's conversation on the bus. There were more - meth, crack, the list goes on. And you know what? I had no idea what the drug was until the translation popped up underneath.

And yet I fought it. I still thought I was pretty cool, too cool to be "A MOTHER".

If we take this narrative back a bit, maybe the story will make more sense. I was a nerdy thing in high school, so after school I devoted considerable time and energy into cultivating a certain level of cool. I didn't delve into self destructive lifestyles or anything, I sort of padded quietly and unobtrusively around the edges. I learned the lingo. I familiarized myself with the customs and traditions. I tried to drink hardcore, but was only moderately successful. I tried to smoke, but was lousy at that. I eventually gave up on that one. I smoked weed - that was my personal best, but still I was never a walking talking stereotype of a pot head. I was never really accepted in any of those social circles as a hardcore chick, but I was well received and well liked. And I had a good time to boot. Does all this make sense? I could still be nerdy, but I was a cool nerd with cool friends.

Fast forward to my experience watching t.v. last night. I didn't mind that most of the slang I didn't know. Times change. I can accept that. No, I didn't mind no longer knowing the lingo, after all, I'm a mother now. At least I knew what all the translated drugs were. I'm no square... No "L-7"...

"But wait... the commercial isn't over yet? What's that cute little girl saying? Juicy? Oh, maybe that's acid." I say this hopefully to myself. The translation spits out the name of the drug. I stare blankly at the screen, uncomprehendingly. I didn't recognize it. "Marijuana and cocaine? They can do that?"

And the sun finally set on the last vestiges of my dying coolness.

And I officially became "A MOTHER".

And I think I'm okay with it now.

Hope you are all doing well, and enjoying summer!

Cheers

Heidi

ps I hope you're not all too cool to talk to me now that I'm A MOTHER!!!

Naps

2008-06-29T09:22:00.000-07:00

We are having napping issues with Charlie. Right now he naps intermittently during the morning in his sling usually, with a lot of bouncing and finger-sucking. In the afternoon he is an ok napper. I really don't think he sleeps enough though. He is awake waaay more than Finn was and seems to be able to keep himself awake. He gets the 'toothpick in the eyes' stare a lot. I really can't understand how a 6 week old can keep himself awake.
Anyway somethings I have thought of. Comments needed..
1. Maybe I feed him too much? Should I try keeping him on a 3 hour schedule (sisters suggestion), I am always trying to feed him
2. Maybe I drink too much caffeine?
3. He just doesn't need that much sleep?
4. No routine? We try the crib, then the swing, then the sling, then rocking.. then he sleeps 20 minutes then it starts all over after a feed.

Eventually, if it continues, we will have to let him cry more, but he is too young yet.

Strangely he sleeps well at night (knock knock), 4 hours then 3 hours last night, woo hoo! He goes back to bed fairly well after his feeds. If he was the same as during the day I think I would be a quivering mess.

Cathy

Diapers

2008-06-25T11:32:00.000-07:00

Hi all! It's sure been quiet around here lately. We are doing pretty well over here in Nanaimo, Gwen is sleeping well (only one night feed these days, amazing!) and we are getting out more. We are back to supplementing with formula a bit as she is gaining really slowly - only 7 ounces in four weeks. This time around the supplementing is a blessing to me instead of a curse, I don't feel nearly as guilty or inadequate. We're waiting for our next midwife check-in this weekend to see if the formula helps her weight increase.

Anyway I wanted to ask you all about diapers. I've read that at this age babies can go through 10-12 diapers a day, and it's been recommended to me to change her at least every 2 hours. Did/do you guys actually do this? For example at night - she gets swaddled around 6pm, and I don't change her diaper at the night feeding, so she is in that one diaper sometimes for 12 hours. If I was to change her in the middle of the night she would just wake up even more and it would be impossible to get her back to sleep.

During the day it's a little easier. I make sure to change her first thing after a nap and last thing before another nap. In between I am feeding her constantly - she will easily nurse for 2 hours or more, with very little time for anything else until it's time for her next nap. So all day I am either feeding her, changing her, or she's sleeping. Still there's no way I am doing 10 diapers a day. Maybe 6 or 8??

Mothers' Day Rant

2008-06-07T12:27:00.000-07:00

Just poking my head in here to post a long-overdue rant about Mothers' Day, specifically my husband's spectacular Dropping of the Ball with regards to.

Let's start with: my due date was May 5th. Mothers' Day was May 11th. There was no doubt, from way back months and months ago, that I would be a Mom come Mothers' Day 2008 (or at least, I'd be a week overdue and in great need of spoiling anyway!). So it's not like Chris didn't have time and ample opportunity to get his sh*t together.

As you all know, Gwen was born early, so by the time Mothers' Day rolled around I'd been a bona fide mom for over two weeks. I was really looking forward to my first Mothers' Day, especially since I spent the day last year mourning a miscarriage.

The day dawned. I got out of bed with Gwen and was feeding her in the nursery for a good hour or more before Chris got up. He presented me with two cards: one from Gwen, one from him. Very sweet. Good start.

Except, that was all I ever got.

No, wait. I did get more. I got a whiny symphony of sighs later in the day and a speech about how he was going to buy me flowers, but he ran out of time (because he played video games all morning - but that was oddly absent from the speech). I also got to hear about how he really wanted to buy me something important for Mothers' Day, something lasting and meaningful, so I could always look back on it and say, "That's what I got for my first Mothers' Day." Not something stupid and frivolous like a spa gift certificate (he must have missed the brilliant lighting-up-of-my-eyes when he mentioned this). But because he hadn't managed to find such a gift, giftless I would remain.

Weeks passed.

Then yesterday he told me he had finally found my Mothers' Day gift(s). And are they meaningful and important? Are they significant and un-frivolous? Are they things I will look back on in years to come and sigh contentedly that I got them on my very first Mothers' Day?

Judge for yourself.

Gift #1
Gift #2

Adding insult to injury: Here's what I got him for Fathers' Day. I bought it a couple months ago, because I can use my brain and think ahead and realize that (a) if my due date is May 5th, he'll be a dad by June 15th and (b) I won't have much time after the baby is born!

So, what did you ladies all get for your first Mothers' Days? Something significant that you still remember after all these years? Or something frivolous and fun?

Breastfeeding..

2008-05-27T19:39:00.000-07:00

Hi,
We got some much needed advice from our midwife (we being Charlie and myself). She is the president of the midwife assc. Breastfeeding is muuch easier now and no more bleeding nipples. I was doing it wrong I guess . Maybe with Finn he just latched better naturallly. Basically she taught us the ''fast and deep' approach. She kept slamming poor little Charlie on the boob when his mouth was open. It worked, yay!
She said breast feeding should never hurt, I said well it hurts a little, and she said nope it shouldn't ever.
What do you guys think?

Baby is out !

2008-05-24T12:58:00.000-07:00

Hi All,
I had Charlie on Tuesday. It went really well. The labour and delivery were only 5 hours in total. It started at 2am with early labour and then I woke Josh at 3:30. We coped with contractions until 5:30 when the midwife came. Being new at this Josh and I were confused and thought I wasn't that far along, I thought the contractions were supposed to get to be 5 minutes every 1 minute! We didn't understand the midwife and thought I wasn't dilated. Turned out I was 8 cm and moving into transition (brutal). It was sooo much easier than induction, just because nature provides the rest breaks. Also I got up to push and that was so much easier than the first time when I was made to lie down. In total it went very well and baby Charlie was born in our bedroom, no time even to fill up the pool.
So now I am in the exhausting no-sleep, nipples so sore, breasts engorged, torn down there phase that is so much a tired after-math the the high of being done with delivery. I swaddled him last night and he slept for 2 hours straight! wow a breakthrough.
Here's some pictures my sister took.
http://picasaweb.google.ca/fionawaters/Charlie
Cathy

Laundry!

2008-05-14T12:18:00.000-07:00

Hello ladies, and thank you for all your warm wishes over the past weeks!

Things are settling down here - Gwen is back at birth weight, which was a bit of a battle (she gained weight initially, then started losing and gave us all a big scare). Big sigh of relief on that one!

So, knowing that many of you are concerned with the environment, and all of you have faced the new-parent laundry issues, I wanted to ask your advice on something.

Even though we are now back on disposable diapers (the cloth ones are large enough that they irritate her belly button, which is still healing, poor thing) the laundry is crazy. We do a load of Gwen's laundry every second day. Because I'm trying to be as environmentally responsible as I can, I'd prefer to let the clothes and diapers air-dry instead of putting them through the dryer.

The user manual we got with our cloth diapers advises us to put them through an extra spin cycle after washing, to help them dry faster. Then Chris came up with the idea of putting everything in the dryer for half an hour before hanging it up to dry. These two tips do indeed reduce the hanging-to-dry time, but they also create two other problems.

First of all, it now means I have to make four separate trips to the laundry room - one to put the laundry in the wash, one to do the extra spin cycle, one to transfer to the dryer, and one to hang the laundry up to dry. I spend most of my day with an infant on my lap either nursing or napping - I cannot guarantee that I'll be able to get to the laundry room when the time comes. Given my unavailability, I almost wonder if it would be faster to hang them to dry right away.

Secondly, with the extra spin cycle and then the 30-minutes-in-the-dryer, are we actually having any positive impact on the environment by letting the stuff air-dry for the remaining few hours?

I would be very interested to hear what other moms and/or environmentalists have to say on this topic.

Hope everyone is doing well and that you all had a fantastic Mother's Day!

What does "Mother's Day" Mean to you?

2008-05-11T06:36:00.000-07:00

Hey there Ladies, Happy Mother's Day to you all. SO, Here's my question. Most of us have had kids, some are older than others, and some are very, very new. We all have Mothers. So, I think that we can somewhat be experts on the subject. "What does Mother's Day mean to you?"

To me it is a thankfulness that my mom was such a good mom. She was a nag sometimes, but, aren't we all. She gave me the oppertunity to do pretty much whatever I wanted to try. She took me to skating in my chubby pink tutu and all. She took my brother and I to swimming at 6 am, she took on the parenting job to 2 extra girls when My dad's sister died(not an easy task). She has always been encouraging and has always told me she loves me.
I think I am pretty lucky to have the mom I do.

There are lots of times when I get irritated with my kids and yell and stamp my feet. I just have to take a step back and remember "they are only kids, " Chill.

This Mother's Day, enjoy your kids, love your mom's and embrace the qualities that you would like to help your kids remember about you.

Hope you all have a great day,
Deb

Baby Gwen

2008-05-06T19:56:00.001-07:00

Just thought I'd share this picture (my favorite so far) with you....that's Baby Gwen (Wordy Girl's new daughter) at 3 days old.

Sara

Gwendolyn Jessie

2008-04-25T09:03:00.001-07:00

Laura had her baby last night at 7:56pm....little girl named Gwen. She weighed in at 8lbs 12oz and apparently has lots of dark hair. I'll post pictures as soon as I get them!

WordyGirl

2008-04-24T17:04:00.000-07:00

Okay, so just an update for you interested minds out there....my sister (WordyGirl) is in labour! Yay! Well, yay for us...she's not so happy apparently! Anyway, I'll post again after my darling niece makes an appearance. In the meantime, send happy thoughts!

Sara

Get Real!!!

2008-04-16T08:16:00.001-07:00

So, the other day I picked up Chatelaine magazine and flipped through and happened upon this article:
"Mom has no income but is happy to be home with her children" (or something along those lines.) Now we've all seen these articles before that feature families with a stay-at-home parent and the sacrifices/techniques/lifestyle that this entails. And I've gotta tell you that this one really got my gander up. Because it was written from a "oh, poor Mom she makes no money but really, truly she is fully satisfied with her choice to stay at home, although she does really miss adult interaction and she never buys herself new clothes or makeup because she has to hold the purse strings pretty tight to make this situation work." Which is fine...until you get to the part that tells you how much her husband earns: $100,000 - $110,000 a year. !!#%*^!! Okay, you ain't gettin' no pity now, lady! It actually had a sidebar showing all their monthly expenses (including mortgage) and the bills came to a whopping $37,000/year. Plus it mentioned that they take two trips to Florida (from Ontario) every year. And yet they still wanted our sympathy for little rich-bitch who can't "afford" new clothes for herself.
I don't get it. I really don't. We've all seen these "stay-at-home parents and their money choices" articles before, but why on earth the editor of Chatelaine let this one get printed is beyond me.

Okay, that's my rant for the day....I'm good now!

Short and sweet

2008-04-11T07:44:00.000-07:00

Hi there:

This is going to be quick.

Matt is turning five on Sunday, can you believe it? I looked at him, riding the gate at preschool yesterday, and had such a feeling of "are you really mine?" How did that go so fast?

We're having a party for him at Chaster House, and it looks like it is going to be mayhem, but whatever. The weather will be mild. I have zero events planned, but with the 20 kids I expect (I know!!! New ones keep showing up on my list. This is his last big one) I figure presents and cake should take up about half the time. Sigh. I have Thane on pinata duty (yes, it is kind of a punishment). Anyone want to help him out?

My big concern is that the pinata won't survive 20 kids, that some kids won't get to hit it. But whatever. I figure I'll take a page out of Deb's book, and use rolled up wrapping paper tubes for bats. And line the kids up by age (I mean, have Thane line the kids up by age) and the youngest ones go first. Then at least they get a swing at it, and probably won't have the effect that the bigger kids will. Sound good? Anyone? Do you think I could talk Tanya into monitoring Thane? I'm going to email her right now.

My most evil plan is to have the pinata outside, there is a covered area, so I can start the inside clean up while that is happening. Ahh, smarter than I look, aren't I? Not only will I get ahead on the tidy up, but I DON'T HAVE TO BE PRESENT FOR THE PINATA MASSACRE!!! Hey, he wanted to help. This is the least he can do.

Okay, that's all, wish us luck, and if anyone off coast is by on Sunday, come over to Chaster House (in Bonniebrook - any local'll know) from 11 - 1pm. Snacks, cake, screaming hoard of children - what more could you ask from a sunday?

Heidi

I knew it was in there somewhere

2008-04-09T06:28:00.000-07:00

Hi Ladies:

Well, here comes the bitch. I am at the end of my patience. You all just knew things had to be too quiet regarding the husband, and you were right.

He never listens to me. Never. It has actually become a running joke in happier moments. But seeing as I have been up three times a night since easter, I'm really not laughing.

We are reno-ing the small bathroom off of our room, as well as putting in a floor in our bedroom and painting. Other minor updates as well. So we went off just before easter to my mothers, and he used the time wisely to work on the drywalling / plumbing in the small bathroom. So far so good. He also used the time very UNWISELY to move out my bed and put it in the baby's room (aka the playroom). My dresser has stayed in the bedroom, and his stuff is downstairs.

So now I'm sleeping with the baby. The baby has figured this out and is now up ALL NIGHT. And what is happening with the reno? Sweet eff all. He hasn't done a thing - not picked up a paintbrush, nothing. And how does this all tie into him not listening to me?

I originally said, before we did any of this, that we should just cover the bed during work until it came time to do the floor (a weekend project). Then the bed has to come out. I thought he understood the logic of this - much less upheaval, no point in moving everything out because very little gets done at a stretch. But no, as soon as I was gone, he went ahead and did whatever he wanted anyways.

So I am up three times a night, and not with some gently fussing baby, nope, with a big, loud, upset, strong, hair pulling, nipple biting baby. One that I am supposed to be weaning in two weeks. Yeah right.

I was telling a friend about the "not listening" thing, and the opinion was that behaviour like that sometimes stems from a lack of respect. ARGH. I hate being treated like the house robot. I could be in that room perfectly fine for all the work that is being done right now. All we needed to do was cover the bed whenever any work was being done, but nope.

I hate this marriage.

Happy Birthday!!!

2008-04-05T09:30:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday dear Hanna Jo,
Happy Birthday to you!!!

(and many more...)

Layette -- give me the real scoop

2008-04-04T09:39:00.000-07:00

Okay ladies, I need your advice on something.

I have been the grateful recipient of some terrific hand-me-downs from various people (including sarapants) and that, combined with a few shopping trips with excited grandparents, has our nursery very well-stocked. Almost too well-stocked, I'm thinking. I don't want stuff to go unused, but at the same time I do know that the more I have the less often I have to do laundry. But then again, we're doing cloth diapers, so I think we'll be doing laundry every 2 days or so anyway, right?

So give me the reality check here. I have a girlfriend due a week after me who I could pass a bunch of stuff on to, instead of it languishing on a shelf. How much stuff do I really need?

Here's what I have (this is only the 0-3 month stuff, I have boxes of bigger stuff too)*:

5 pairs of shoes
18 (!) pairs of socks
2 pairs of slippers
13 receiving blankets
7 (!) hooded towels
3 sleepers
18 (!) onesies
4 shirts
2 pairs of pants
11 (!) hats
2 onesies-pants sets
3 bibs
24 (!) facecloths
5 small portable changing pads

*Please note this list doesn't even include the stuff I've packed for the hospital, because, well, it's been packed. Nor does it count a bag of reserve "very boyish" clothes which I figure can be given to my friend if she has a boy, or held in reserve at the back of the closet for when my girl runs out of clothes and I just don't care and I'll dress her in any old blue thing to avoid doing laundry. But seriously, given the numbers on this list, I don't think we'd get to that point!

So tell me ladies - can I bag up some of this stuff and pass it on to a friend? Or should I hang onto it all for the sake of my laundry-related sanity?

No Subject!

2008-04-02T09:08:00.000-07:00

Hi all:

Well, I haven't been around much lately. So...

Pregnant moms... How are you holding up? Laura, Cathy, must be about 4 weeks left or so. I'd be curious to know how much you are hoping for the pregnancy to be over. My theory is that with the first baby, you can't WAIT. With the second, you can. I remember living with the low level of anxiety, checking every stomach gurgle, examining toilet paper for evidence of show, getting a shot of adreniline every time the belly tightens and twinges. Its exciting, but exhausting. All I can say is

HANG IN THERE!!!

Otherwise, I don't have anything to share at this time. Thane has been a very good husband lately. We had a huge fight just over a month ago, terrible. I think we are trying to find our footing again after that. I complained to a friend of mine that Thane is trying so hard and being so perfect now that there is a crisis, and why couldn't it have always been like that? He said not to be mad at Thane - its human nature. Do you all agree?

I hope you all enjoyed Earth Hour. I have to admit I wasn't thrilled about it, I think the Earth deserves more than an HOUR!!! Shouldn't we all be shutting off lights and appliances that we aren't using anyways? I'm just saying... Earth Day is coming up, I'll be at the mandala signing up new members for the SCCA. Come talk to me, I'm always up for visits.

Ciao for now

Heidi

Advice for two kids..

2008-03-18T11:37:00.000-07:00

Where'd everyone go?
So I am 31 (?) weeks pregnant now, I am unsure because they changed my due date. Anyway I am starting to get to the point where you can see what is at the end of the tunnel (so to speak) and I am starting to freak out - about labour, having two kids to juggle, lack of sleep, finances, etc.. Questions like 'When will I sleep?' and 'How will I have time for Finn?' are running through my head.
I don't have anything ready, no crib, no diapers, nothing! I can't remember what I'm supposed to be doing about that. We haven't been to any classes, how many poops are they supposed to have in the first week? I can't remember anything!
One funny thing this time around is you don't get the barrage of advice that you get with the first. Where did all those nosy advice givers go? I guess people feel you are old hat if you have one. So if anyone has some good advice for the second time around, I want to hear it!

New arrival for Josh's family..

2008-02-29T08:57:00.000-08:00

Josh's only sister, Amber, had her baby a couple days ago. They named him 'Matthew', no middle name because it is tradition in Josh's family not to have one.
Here is her birth story:
Her water broke before labour started, this means that the hospital will most likely induce you (so I've gathered), so she was induced then had an epidural (which I think is more likely when you are induced). That happened at midnight then at 5 am ish she had her baby.
The hospital in Toronto, where she had the baby, has a policy of not giving formula for the first 48 hours. This is very different from the one I was at in Calgary where the nurse was waiting with the formula as I was rolled out of the birthing room! They also have signs everywhere on the evils of formula in TO.
Then they got the baby circumsised, ouch! poor little guy. The father is Jewish. Our son is not circumsised, I hope it doesn't traumatize him..
Anyway Joanne (Mom) is there helping, another grandson for her and another on the way. No girls anymore in their family or mine!
I hope Amber is doing ok, I remember the post-birth time as equivalent to surviving an earthquake and struggling out of the rubble completely dazed and in pain. I'm sure others have different stories though..
Cathy

Questions and answers (encore presentation)

2008-02-28T18:28:00.000-08:00

The question I posted on yahoo!answers was a version of Laura's (wordygirl) blog question: "Before you had kids, what were you _never_ going to as a parent? And have you been successful?"

The fun answers were:

"i was NEVER going to resort to the prepackaged sodium and fat filled foods ie kraft mac & cheese, frozen chicken nuggets, campbells soup. ha ha ha ha ha so much for that. my kids prefer kraft over homemade, eat ONLY frozen nuggets, and think all soup should come from a can. Ahh....the little gourmets I've raised."

"I was never going to let my kids watch movie after movie on the weekends. I figured that time was for family. Now we all watch them together. And we still get chances to go outside."

"I was never going to say "because I said so" or "because I'm your mother!".....hah....I've said that many times!"

"I never made my children preform a midnight hen round-up as my father made me. Hen is very contrary at this time of night and will attack the face with its sharp talons to protest its awakening from its slumber and dreams." - this one was from my smart alecky Slovakian(?) contact Zorki. I had a giggle.

But then I received the following response from a contact of mine named Rainbow Warrior. He has that "older wiser" thing going on that I seem to gravitate to... I would love to build this home for my children. I thought I'd share his answer with you all. Here goes.

Rainbow Warrior writes:

"My Mom was an interior designer, and our house always looked like a darn model home... she would broom rake the carpet in the living room/dinning room to keep the nap up, and if you walked across it and left foot prints there was hell to pay. It was the kind of home that looked great but you weren't allowed to use it! Needless to say I didn't have many friends over.

I always wanted to have the kind of home for my kids that I felt comfortable in when I was a kid, but it was never my house growing up.

We maintained a clean house, but our home has always been a sanctuary for my 5 kids and all their friends. There was always chaos and noise, but it was (and still is) slightly used, very liberal, warm, loving, nurturing and usable by all. Our neighbors were always jealous of our relationship with our kids and theirs. Some of them learned from our style but many didn't make any effort to spend lots of time with their own kids and work on those relationships.

When my kids were in the high school years, we hosted the run aways and brought them back together with their folks and provided a place to work things out. Some times it was a pain because they would come to our house if they had too much to drink, and were afraid to go home. I suppose my wife or I should have gotten a degree in pyhcology or something.

We are empty nesters now, and live way out in the boon docks of rural SW Colorado... but hardly a week goes by when we don't have one of our kids freinds pop in, and more often than not I don't totally recall who they are or which of my kids they were freinds with. We always do a smudge and pass the talking stick in circle to catch up and remember, which is our tradition. It is such an honor to be an elder with so many contacts in the next generation. We have been additionally honored to name babies and do marriage ceremonies for many as well. (even though it seems the parents just tolerate our so called pagan ways).

Our liberal parenting style has produced an architect, an elementary teacher, a jouranist, an out door adventure guide and a chef. 5 of 5 with proffessional degrees! They don't call us the Tokala (fox) tribe for nothing...

So I would say we have been blessed with success!"

Tell me what you know

2008-02-28T06:46:00.000-08:00

Hi all:

I'll give you two choices, you can speak on either one, or both!

The first topic is eczema. Nico has flared up with a terrible case of eczema since this weekend. So, I know we've been through this before, but I need a refresher. I can't think of anything that has drastically changed (food, the way I wash, etc.) and I notice that his diapers make it more difficult to clear up. So that brings me to my second topic.

Second topic is how to raise your kids diaper free. Nico is basically diaper free. It seems to help. I have no idea what the theory is behind this, so I have no idea what I'm doing. (Other than putting him in a little shortie shirt and cleaning up a lot of pee.) Any thoughts? I think if I ever have another child, I'm going to try this.

That's all for now. Have good ones, all you beautiful women!

Heidi

Balance

2008-02-23T07:07:00.000-08:00

Hello Ladies,

So, here is my dilemma. It's all about balance. I currently work a 4 day a week job at a swimming pool. For the last 2 months I have been filling in full time as a supervisor. Which has been busy but, challanging. I have enjoyed it. I have been given a hupe vote of confidence by my bosses, Which I totally appreciate. I have 3 little kids, a husband, a dog, friends(whom I hardly get to see because of life-sorry Heidi). So, after March break, I am going to only be working 3 days a week. 20 hours a week. In the same job I was doing before I was filling in as supervisor. Which is a great job and I love it, but, where is the challange? Other than if someone has a heart attack or some sort of physcial problem while they are at the pool. So, which brings me to my dilemma. There is a position for mat leave replacement at the new pool that I am thinking about applying for. It would be full time for a year. I think I could do it, I know I could do it, my husband doesn't really want me to take on a full time job. I resent that, but, appreciate his point of view. I beleive he is trying to put it in the best intrest of our family , but, what about me? Part of me really wants to do it, but, part of me says, no Deb, take the time with your family. However, the other part of me says, you will just fill up your empty time doing something else. IE. Cleaning.
My question to you all is where is the balance?

Looking forward to hear you responses.

Deb

I'll NEVER ....

2008-02-19T14:58:00.000-08:00

Parents-to-be are a terribly idealistic bunch, there are always things we swear we will NEVER do with our own kids. And maybe some do manage to stick to their principles throughout their years of parenthood, but it seems the vast majority watch their best-laid plans get tossed by the wayside when the reality of parenting sets in. So whenever I see another parent (real or fictional) do something I don't like and I think, "I'll NEVER do that with my kid," I also think "Yeah right, what do I know?!" and have a little laugh at myself for being so naive and idealistic.

So far, the things I will NEVER do with my kid include: cooking/preparing more than one meal if she's a fussy eater (ie, didn't eat my first offering, so I'll make something else) and allowing her to keep me company in the bathroom (she can fuss outside for two minutes, everyone deserves a minute or two of private time when doing their business!).

What did you swear you would NEVER do with your kids? Have you stuck to it?

UGH

2008-02-17T10:40:00.006-08:00

Hi ladies (and others)

I haven't checked in for a while, so I'll update what's going on.

SICKNESS - nothing worse than dealing with kids when you think you are going to be sick. Ugh. You can kind of make it through creating a bowl of cereal for them to eat, but then the baby's diaper needs changing and UH OH!!! And because you are sick, the diaper is ugly. Ugh again. And I swear to gosh that Thane thinks I'm faking. I'm beige, if beige has a tinge of green in it, I keep running away now and then - its like morning sickness but worser. Ugh ugh and double ugh. However, my knight in shining armour has taken the kids shopping for groceries (ha! interesting how that will go... I'll let you know. I'll bet at least one is crying, one has wet pants, one is laughing doing something he shouldn't, and daddy'll be screaming).

Happier news - I cut off about half of my hair, and man does it feel good. It still looks long, which is nice, but is so footloose and fancy free. I even had it washed... ahhh. Never mind the roses, just wash my hair! Yummy!

Nico is standing! For about 1 1/2 seconds, though, then he lowers himself to the ground. So cute. He hasn't initiated standing yet, I've always put him in optimal position and then let go. He was so underweight that he didn't even hit a percentile, so I weighed him again last week. He's gaining, so Im not worried. He's just a lightweight, like the other two.

Everyone else is ok, I guess, no new news really. I gotta go actually, not feeling so hot again... Ugh.

Heidi

The Birthday Game

2008-02-12T20:17:00.000-08:00

So, today is Andrew's 5th birthday and all day I've been playing the birthday game. I look at the clock and reminise about what was happening at that exact moment 5 years ago. It's shortly after 8:00pm right now and I'm up to finally being officially admitted to the hospital after hanging out for 3 hours waiting to be told whether I'll be sent home to labour at home a little longer, or whether I get to stay. I was just told that I'd dilated to 4 cm and I'll be staying. I'm sure for the next 2 hours I'll relive (although in a way less painful way!) the events of my firstborn's birth. I asked my husband whether he thinks anyone else does this...of course he's highly involved in the birthday game because I make all the "5 years ago we were doing such and such" comments to him....as he was there and can confirm and share in my memory. (I just mistyped the word memory and it came out as this: momory....Mom-ory....kind of appropriate in this case!) So, I'm just curious: does anyone else do this? I wonder if I'll still be doing this when Andrew is 18, or 25, or 40?

And on a totally unrelated topic.....
Dave & I went out on the weekend. Like, really out. We hired a babysitter, put on clean clothes (ones without remnants of the kids' dinner on them, you know what I'm talking about!), and went out to the Gibsons movie theatre to enjoy some stand up comedy hosted by Yuk Yuks. It was great, we had an awesome time, laughed until our faces hurt and were even more thrilled when we got home and the babysitter told us that she had absolutely no problems getting Scott (19mos.) to sleep! This was a first for him...being put to bed by someone other than his parents or grandparents. While we were out listening the comics talk about drinking and night clubs and the single pre-kids life, I definitely got to reminiscing about those days. Just the environment of being out without the kids and seeing a lot of other people all dolled up and out on a Saturday night made me pine for the past....just a leeetle bit! Ah yes, the good old days when Saturday night automatically meant a party with friends. I had a tinge of jealousy of all those people out there partying it up on a Saturday night, while for me it was a rare (and I mean, like blue rare) treat. Then later on I read this passage in a novel I'm reading:

"It's okay," Roger whispered, patting his back. "Daddy's here."
Jem sighed like a punctured tire and dropped his head on Roger's shoulder with the force of a spent cannonball. He seemed to inflate again for a moment, but then put his thumb in his mouth and subsided into that peculiarly boneless state common to sleeping children. His flesh seemd to melt comfortably into Roger's own, his trust so complete that it was not necessary even to maintain the boundaries of his body - Daddy would do that.

I could feel immediately what the author was describing, because I have felt that boneless state in my own sleeping children, as well as that sense of utter trust. After reading that, my earlier tinge of jealousy disappeared, replaced with this thought: "You know, I'm actually pretty damn lucky!"

Weight Gain in Pregnancy

2008-02-08T10:03:00.000-08:00

I went to the gym the other night and the manager leaned over the counter (it's one of those chest-height ones) to see my belly. "Oh yes, it's gigantic," I smiled, undoing my jacket so he could see it in all its glory. "Oh, you know, it's not that gigantic. It looks great. You look great!" He enthused. He is a very nice guy and I always enjoy our little chats, he makes me feel right at home even when it's been 3-4 months since my last visit. He went on to ask, "So, where are you at with the weight gain? You figure, 10-15 pounds?"

GUFFAW.

I told him that I had no idea what my weight gain was, because I hadn't stepped on a scale for months. (God bless midwives who don't make you weigh yourself at your monthly visits!) Early in the second trimester I had already put on nearly 30 pounds and was in agony about it. My friend Rhea, who is also a midwife, asked me why I was putting myself through it. "Put your scale away. It's not doing you any good." And I did. I told the gym manager that I knew the scale wasn't going to tell me anything I wanted to hear - and definitely wasn't going to tell me anything I didn't already know - so I just wasn't going there. I have a three-prong plan to help me lose the weight after the baby's born (THANK GOD it will be summer, I foresee walks every day) and until that time, there's no point in making myself miserable.

I would guess, though, that I'm up around the 40-pound mark by now. Every week my little "Pregnancy Update" emails arrive and tell me that I should have gained about 12 pounds by now, and I snort as I reach for the Chunks Ahoy cookies. Sure, sure. 12 pounds. In each leg, maybe.

I know I've gained more weight than I really "needed" to, but I keep myself in check by looking at the other pregnant women at my prenatal class. I'm not larger than any of them (at least, not the ones who are as far along as I am). I'm not gaining weight in my face, just my torso. A friend visiting recently told me I don't waddle. So, I'm good.

Give me a reality check, ladies. How much weight did you gain with your pregnancies?

Poll: sleeping arrangements

2008-02-07T08:32:00.001-08:00

How many of you sleep apart from the husband when you need a good nights sleep? or do you just put up with snoring/ blanket stealing, etc..
During the first 3 months of my pregnancy we slept apart a lot because I just wasn't functioning. However J doesn't seem to like this. I bought a sound machine and that has helped a lot. Now I have a new problem of Finn coming in the room and me waking up, anticipating that.
So am I just a high-maintenace, light sleeper?
Cath

An email I recently received...

2008-02-05T18:27:00.000-08:00

Hi ladies:

I got this email forward, and it gave me something to think about (both as a parent and a child). So here it is, words of wisdom from "Dumbing Down Our Kids"!!!! (yaaaaayyyyy!!)

This excerpt lists 11 things not taught (or learned) in school, which have created a generation of kids with no "concept of reality". The author's fear is that this concept will set kids up for failure in the real world.

Quoted text begins:

Rule 1 : Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2 : The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6 : If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7 : Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8 : Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9 : Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10 : Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11 : Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Ciao!

SUPER MOM TO THE RESCUE!!????????????

2008-02-02T06:21:00.000-08:00

WEll, Hello ladies. I have a confession. I have tried 4 or 5 times this week to place comments on other peoples post. Cathy, Laura, Heidi. Everytime I sit down and am able to collect my thoughts to the point that It doesn't sound like I am babbling or totally talking out my ass, I get an interruption. "Mom, I need your help". "Mom, Maggie's Bugging me". "Mom, COME WIPE MY BUM" Good Grief.. I read a comparative Milestones in a child/mother's lives. It was in a Today's Parent or something like that. I wish I had kept it because it was quite funny and very true. So, here is my list:

1. First smile 2 -3 months,
2. Sitting up, 3-5 months,
3. Crawling, 6-7 months
4. Walking 9- 15 months

It is all relative, you know you baby and Each kid develops at their own rate,

1. Potty traing 2-3 years. Moms are very excited. Don't mind wiping bums....
Having to do it for your 5 year old every time stinks.
2. Talking 10 months garble, formation of word. It is great, you can chat. Then they become little motor mouths and Some times you just want them to go back to that no talking stage.
3. Eating solids, 5-8 months. Having to fight to eat at 2 and 3 years old is a pain in my backside especially when it is accompained by I HATE THAT. I don't like peas.....

I love my kid. They are fantastic, funny(Did I tell you the one of the 2 year old that tells knock knock jokes at 3 in the morning because she had a fever?)... They are bright, sensitive, fun.
They are loving and caring, and they are going to be smarter than me in about 3 weeks. I am so very afraid of when they become teenagers. 3 daughters. Kev is going to have to buy a bigger boat and be away alot more often.

SO, here were some of my comments on your posts when I was trying to answer and got interrupted 3o0 times.
Cathy, I have kids that fall asleep really well. I don't know excactly why. However, with having twins as a first pregnancy and having them be smaller at first, we had to be on a routine right from the get go. We did do the eat activity sleep thing. But not totally on purpose. It does work I believe. I think I told you The baby Whisperer was a good book. It was. I read it when the girls were 5 weeks old. (well, scanned it quickly in the parts relative). We did pretty much the same thing every evening. I kind of think of it like, I am a creature of habit, so, helping babies learn habits that they will have for the rest of thier lives can start early. ( those are good habits, I could lose the bad ones). I also swaddled. I know a lot of moms that say, Oh, He hates being wrapped up like that. But, I did it for all 3 girls up until they were 4 months or so. If they have been in utero for 9 months all warm and cosy. Swaddling help them feel contained. It is totally personal. But, I believe it works. I also did a lot of baby massage, touch, just after a bath, did some lavender cream rubbed it all in. (this was all part of my answer for laura ,too)
I also have to say, Nursing hurts. I did it with the twins and Maggie too. For the twins, they each had a boob and Abby's boob only got Mastitisis once. Emma's got it 3 times. It hurts. My nipples never got too bad with the twins. Maggie on the other had we both got Thrush. (yeast infection) on the boob and mouth. I don't know if it was because Maggie was such a bigger baby to the twins and had a stronger latch, but, I got the cracked nipples. Lanolin helps.

Heidi, I think those husbands sometimes just don't think sometimes. I know we are supposed to know it all, but, sometimes, they just turn off thier brains and rather than figure out what the problem may be and try to fix it which is what they normally try to do everytime that we say somthing, they have to try to find solutions. At home, they just assume we know it all. Which isn't always a bad thing, because It makes us look brilliant when we rectify the situation.

I have a new motto: It relates to both children and husbands.

"Be brave, be strong and never show fear"!!!!!!!!
Hope you fab women have a great weekend
Deb

There's one question in here somewhere

2008-02-01T18:59:00.000-08:00

Hi all:

Okay, I have been having a bad run of it lately with the husband. Just to catch up those of you who are new. And this, I think, is to be expected, what with three little kids and the cold and flu season upon us. So I try to take some things in stride, to not take myself too seriously, and the whole "water off a duck's back" theory of dealing with squabbles. And usually I can find some humour or twisted man sense in everything. And I try to defuse my own temper and to be reasonable, usually successfully. (Of course, all this wastes my introspection time on things that I shouldn't have to use it for, but that's nitpicking now)

Yep, we manage our differences pretty well (she says with an exaggerated eyeroll). Mostly I just close my eyes, grit my teeth, and tell myself that this phase will pass. It passed before, twice, so chances are pretty good it will again.

But I have to ask. Here's the question.

How many of your husbands say "what's wrong with him?" every time the baby cries? I usually answer "Oh he's hungry / thristy / tired / teething / didn't sleep well / he wants mommy" or some variation on the platitude. Tonight, I caved. Nico fusses every night from about 5 - 7 (so, dinner preparation til bedtime). The inevitable and ever so helpful comment "what's WRONG with him?" came. I said "He's a baby". Husband says "Yeah, I know, but what's WRONG with him?" Grief.

I'm not really complaining about my husband, he's a great father. Takes his responsibilites seriously. He was roasting marshmallows in the fireplace with the boys tonight. I think that's above and beyond, my father wasn't like that. Right now he's reading to the boys because the boys wanted him more. (thats a whole other post - being played by the kids. One thing at a time). But I have to know, ladies, what's WRONG with him?

Anyways, that's all I guess.

Laura - look up "the girlfriend's guide to (pregnancy / babies / toddlers)" They are so awesome, just like having a sister. Oh wait, you have a sister... Just like having Sara in a book.

Ciao - here's hoping the weekend is smooth. Anyone else ready to leave by Sunday night? Right. One thing at a time.

Heidi

Embarrassing Confession: I am clueless

2008-01-31T11:27:00.000-08:00

Okay, all you brilliant moms out there, I need some advice! It's about time I stopped obsessing, er I mean reading, about pregnancy and labour/birth in favour of learning something about the tiny human inside me who is due to make an entrance in only 90 days. I am embarrassingly clueless about when certain things happen in baby's life, and in what order. I know babies teethe - but when do they start? I know they learn to hold their heads up and then sit up on their own, but how old are they when they do that? I know that for the first few months I'll be feeding on demand and not dealing with any kind of a routine/schedule, but eventually I'll want him/her to sleep at night and wake during the day. When do I start working towards that?

So what I am looking for is some good recommendations for books that will help guide me through the next year or so - a user manual, if you will. I know that every baby develops at a different pace and I *promise* I won't get hung up on "OMG, my baby is supposed to be making eye contact and isn't yet, THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG." (I make no similar promises about bragging when s/he is ahead of the milestones, of course). But I'm just totally clueless right now and need some guidelines for what's ahead.

What are the good books out there?

You think you're experiencing winter! Ha!

2008-01-30T13:59:00.000-08:00

It's been about -30 here in Calgary, -45 with windchill, so cold! I laugh reading about the little bit of snow that you Creekers get, although I admit it is slippery stuff.
I have an awful cold again, I thought pregnancy was supposed to make your immune system go into high gear. Not likely it seems. I am now 6 months pregnant. Our work has a full length mirror and I caught a glimpse of my behind while leaving, AUGH! I really don't want to gain the 50 pounds I gained last time. Although I lost it last time I hear it gets harder with every child. Lucky your boobs also grow, I am approaching double D territory. Josh probably hasn't noticed my butt because of that!
Finn wants to name the baby 'Bob the Builder', right now we have a list of 2. "Leo" and "Bob".

Tuesday Morning

2008-01-29T09:24:00.001-08:00

Hi there:

I actually have Matt talking in my ear about his dream where he was in "backyardigans". Talk about multitasking.

Tuesday Morning is a great song, by the way, the Pogues.

Now Matt is moving the mouse around. Its going to be a long day.

We had a blast in the west coast snow - we ran out superfast as soon as the grass was covered, built a snowman. Then overnight it fell over and froze that way. Then I tried to fix it, but it wouldn't stick. Then it melted a bit and by the afternoon it stuck together. I tied the scarf around it, kind of artistically, so that the giant defect in the front is no longer visible. And with its little ball cap, the snowman looks a little like Michael Moore.

We just saw "Sicko". Did you know that in France, new mothers are given respite care? I know you can get it here if you can prove you are going insane. (I really need to get a hold of the list so I can passably fake it. Bonus points to those of you who let me believe I am stone cold sane in the first place) Anyways, Sicko was another great from Michael Moore. I enjoy his stuff.

But that isn't my point. I am grateful for our health care system, a reality I accepted shortly before watching the movie. I ended up in emergency twice with Dylan on holidays, and in the last month I have been to the doctor at least 4 times (not including the emergency visits). I can't imagine having to have the liquid captial to do that. And what if they get seriously sick? Well, lets not tempt the evil on... Yep, I am very happy with a public health system. Even the two tier makes me twitchy.

Okay Matt is back - since I'm professing to love my children so much, I should probably go interact with them. Dylan wants to read "Goodnight Sam" - its back to being his favourite.

Ciao for now

Heidi

Lack of commitment?

2008-01-25T19:28:00.000-08:00

I don't know if anyone else has this problem, but I have a tendency to pick up these great parenting books, read about 100 pages, and then never look at them again. I'll get totally into it and think about what a great parent I'll be once I've learned whatever it is that particular book is trying to teach me; I'll even imagine conversations that I could have with Dave to get him on board with this latest technique. And then...I'll gaze longingly over at my bookcase filled with fiction, escapist fluff and I'll crumble. Sometimes I can blame it on the library: 3 weeks isn't always long enough to finish a book (this coming from the woman who can devour 1 John Grisham, 2 Sophie Kinsellas and a Jeffery Deaver in that same amount of time!) But even worse than that is the fact that I OWN parenting books that I've never finished reading! I have gone out of my way to purchase these books and spent actual money on them! Money that could have fed my Tim Horton's habit!

So ladies, here's where you come in. I just started a new parenting book last night. I was actually given 4 books from a co-worker whose kids are in their 20's now and she thought she'd pass along these books to me. They are popular books by famous parenting-book writer people. Like Barbara Coloroso! So the book I've started is called Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World. I've never heard of this particular title but thought hey, what the heck? As I write this, I'm on page 55. I'm *hoping* that I'll feel accountable to someone now that I've told you that I'm reading this and maybe every once in a while y'all can bug me to see if I'm still slogging away at it. In return I'll pass along any nuggets of wisdom that I pick up from the book. So far I'm finding it very interesting and quite probably even useful.

And please, someone tell me that they also suffer from this lack of commitment!

Motherhood

2008-01-24T19:25:00.000-08:00

"Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease. ~Lisa Alther"

This job of being a mom is a tough gig. I feel like the above about 86% of the time. Why 86? Good question. I just can't think of an answer. So, For those of you who are already mothers to children of preschool age, how is it that all of a sudden our lives have gone from the "oh Yeah!!!!! music makers" that was our activity planned for the whole day, to "Hurry up, we are going to be late again,".. Where are your shoe? How come you haven't put on your coat yet? I have asked you 15 times now, lets go!!!! Where are all the marker lids? Why is Maggie painting her face with a crayola? Where is your planner? Hurry up!!! I'm leaving, Bye, Hope you make it to school ok by yourself.

Can you tell I have been a little rushed lately. I am probably babbling at the moment. I am a working mother of three. Yes, to say I am a working mother is a bit reduntent. I feel like an absoulte bag to my children a lot. I try not to overload my kids with stuff outside of school.
How easy is it to try and find that balance between activity and time to unwind. Apparently I haven't been doing enough of it myself.

So, I bought myself and elliptical trainer. Yes, I want to get in shape. It came in a box in about 300 pieces. It took Kevin(my husband) and I 3 hours to put it together. I thought great. I can do something about getting into shape!!!! So, who's on the ellipitacal everytime I want to get on, My kids. I am trying to vent my frustration on a piece of equipment that I can't even get on.
I am babbling, sorry, Suffice to say, that somedays, I would rather be on a beach, drinking a cervesa, and watching the surf, then listening to myself natter at my kids. I know that not everyone feels the same way, however, I am venting and maybe someone out there feels the same way too some of the time.

After all that of trying to get on the ellipitcal, you know what we did, I went outside on this gorgeous brisk sunny day and kicked a soccer ball with my kids, and man, was it fun.

Take care all you wonderful women
Deb

Labour Wear

2008-01-22T10:09:00.000-08:00

My first question/request for advice from the Mom Talk community: What do real women wear during labour?

First off, as mentioned previously I am planning a hospital birth. But I want it to be as non-hospitaly as possible. And I do kind of resent the implications of getting into a hospital gown upon my arrival there - the gown, the bracelet, the unfamiliar surroundings, all serve to underline "we are in charge now. You are in our territory, and you are our property." I very much believe that women giving birth are not sick, and should not be treated like patients. So yeah, I'd like to avoid the gown if I can.

On the other hand, I'm aware that my favourite blue jeans or even pajama bottoms might not be practical, either. Because, um, access to certain areas is required. And I definitely don't want to be shimmying out of my clothes every time my cervix needs checking. So something more in the area of a nightgown, dressing gown, muumuu, or so on seems to be in order.

Comfort and a bit of style are both important to me. So enter Binsi Labour Apparel. This skirt has side slits for easy movement, sits below the belly so we can still attach monitors or whatever if needed, and looks great! I'm also thinking it would come in handy for many occasions pre-birth, such as the blessingway when everyone will want to see my belly, and our pre-natal photo shoot. Could even wear it out to fancy events, like dinners out, with a long top.

So, what do you ladies think? What did you all wear in your various labour(s)? Did you even care in the slightest what you were wearing? What aspects (comfort, flexibility, length, ease of cleaning, etc) would you consider important in choosing Labour Wear? Or would you just continue to wear whatever the hell you happened to have on when the first contraction hit?

I'm here, I'm here!

2008-01-21T20:13:00.000-08:00

So, I'm Sara and this is my absolute first-ever attempt at blogging. I'm a blog virgin!

I have 2 boys, an almost5 year old and a 1.5 year old. Oh yeah, and a husband. No pets, thank goodness. We've been on the Coast for 4 years now and just bought a place in Gibsons. Yay for owning our own house!! I've known Heidi for a couple of years now...kept bumping into her all over town so I finally decided we should just be friends and get it over with. I also know Deb from back in our "Michelle's Place Family Daycare" days....Andrew could never get enough of your girls Deb. Every morning when we'd be getting ready to go he'd be asking if Abby & Emma would be there! I also know Laura aka WordyGirl....she's my sister so we go way back! Looking forward to getting to know the rest of you and having a great place to rant, inquire, chat, bond and chill out with my mommy-friends!

Sara

Intro---ducing........!!!!!!!!

2008-01-21T18:27:00.000-08:00

Introducing..... In the center of the ring. Wearing the Navy Blue Speedo, It's Deb. The lifeguard, mother of 3 daughters. ..... A set of twins who turned 5 in November(Abby and Emma) and Maggie the 2 and a half year old who get s away with more than her sisters did at her age......

So, It's corney, but, that is me.. I have lived on the sunshine coast since 1992. I grew up in Quesnel. I live in Roberts Creek and my kids attend kindergarten. The last 5 and a half years of my life have flown by in a blur. I have worked in aquatics since I was sixteen. I like it. It is a great job and I have had a lot of fun in the process. I like my job, I like my kids, I like my family, I like myself( maybe not all of the extra "pounds" of myself, but that is another story). I even like my husband. I for the most part am a pretty easy going person, save for the break neck speed that my life seems to move at. I am assuming that most mothers lives moves at the same chaotic level. I try to relax as much as possible, However, the law of inerta always plays heavily on my mind. All those objects at rest things.
I look forward to learning from you all and getting to see a different perspective on life. I think it is important to constantly learn. Even if is as simple as how to figure out how to teach 2 five year olds how to tie their shoes. ( it is a total stumpper for me). Hope you all enjoy your evening. I am off to the city tomorrow on the first boat to take 2 of the 3 girls to the oplimologist (sp) . This is for the 2 who don't have glasses. Have a great night,
Deb ,Over and out.

Hi Everyone! (Cathy)

2008-01-21T14:09:00.000-08:00

Hi,
Blogs are one of the few personal sites (including emails, facebook) that work lets me look at, so I am a big commenter on Heidi's blog. I work at a big oil and gas company in Calgary.
I have a 'for friends and family' blog at http://canadagoofs.blogspot.com , it's not a big ranting blog (apparently). Anyway I have a 2 and 1/2 year old boy named Finn and I am six months pregnant with my second boy. My husband is a SAHD (stay at home dad) right now, but that will change soon enough. We are going the midwife route also, I hope to have an at-home birth. My mom was like 'oh that's nice'. She has 9 kids and 9 grandkids so my pregnancy is a bit of a blip on the radar.
Anyway Heidi and I met at the Roberts Creek baby group drop in. I was there during my maternity leave, we lived with my mother in law (fun!).
We bought a house recently too, and are renovating it.
Cath

Intro: Laura/WordyGirl

2008-01-21T12:40:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone, thanks to Heidi for creating this ... what a neat idea!

If you pop on over to my other blog, Blogging For Two, you will learn all you ever wanted to know (and much, much more) about who I am and what I'm up to. But I thought I should write a little intro as well so you have the salient points.

(Yes, I use words like salient. I'm so pretentious.)

I'm 32 years old, married, and live in Nanaimo. In the summer of 2006, my then-boyfriend and I decided to get all our life changes over with as quickly as possible. (Not really, it just kind of happened that way.) In October, we got married; in February, we got pregnant; in April, we bought a house. Sadly, we miscarried a few weeks later - but in August we got pregnant again, and this pregnancy is now 25 weeks along!

I'm under the care of a midwife, and am slightly baffled as to why anyone would choose otherwise. My mother and mother-in-law are not so keen on the idea, but we mostly stay on civil terms. I'm planning a drive-through hospital birth because it seems like the best compromise between the crazy grandparents-to-be and my own preferences. As I count down to the birth of my child, I'm busy learning as much as I can about pregnancy, parenting, labour, and all other related things.

Looking forward to counting you all in as part of my "Mommy Network"! Cheers!

My Introduction

2008-01-19T13:56:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure anyone but Heidi knows who I am. Have I met any of you? It feels quite mysterious not knowing who I'm talking to...

My name is Belinda and I've known Heidi since grade 8 or so. I'm happy that we've been able to stay friends even though we've both moved around a lot.

I went to UBC and studied English and Political Science- although all those years are quite fuzzy in my memory. I went to Korea to teach English for a year or two, then along the way I fell in love, got married, and stayed there for almost 10 years. I really enjoyed the teaching and it was a really interesting season of my life. My husband changed careers several times and worked really hard to make it possible for us to settle in Canada. We are finally starting to grow roots in North Vancouver.

We have two little boys- Oliver is 3 1/2 years old and is sunny and laid-back. Toby his little brother (15 months) is also blessed with a type-B personality. I stay at home with them and do some tutoring on the side. Interests that I would pursue if I weren't so tired at the end of the day include picking up books again, picking up the classical guitar again, picking up biking again, and learning how to cook really yummy food.

Looking forward to getting to know you all.

So, here it is.....

2008-01-17T05:28:00.000-08:00

Hi, This is a totally new concept for me. I have had a blog of my own for the last year and a half or so. I started it so, that my family and friends could have a window into our lives. Alot of our family lives away from us in different places. It wasn't until I reading Heidi's that I felt a little more empowered to write exactly how I feel. I believe it is a release to be able to vent.

So, here is my Rant. (please be advised that the following may not be suitable for all veiwers.)....

Toilet Paper, How much is enough. I have 3 daughters. The oldest 2 are 5 and the younger one is 2 and a half. We are toilet training Maggie. On her terms. She has decided that she is ready. Mostly because she climbed up on the toilet and pooped on the seat. You can't really get mad at her for that. So, because we have 3 daughters, we have a lot of bums to wipe.

Which brings me to my question?.....? .....?
How many squares does one need to effective wipe ones butt. Apparently, because my husband is the only male in the household, he doesn't think we need all that much. He tends to think that the female species in our household use way to much toilet paper..... !!!!!
I do tend to agree at times, when I find a half a roll of toilet paper in the toilet, hanging over the edge, around the railing by our toilet and almost out the door. I mean, I try to conserve. I try to use sparingly, but, How do you get a 5 year old to wipe effectively with 4 squares? I know it sounds petty, but, I need more than that. Well, my brain is mush, it is 7 pm, I started this at 5 am this morning and had to stop to wipe butts and faces, and all those other body parts that seem to need to be wiped the second I sit down to actually do something that I want to do.

I am looking forward to meeting all of you and thanks again to heidi for such a great idea.
Hoping also that my rant is in keeping of the spirit.

Chow for now, ladies,
Deb

Welcome!

2008-01-16T09:21:00.000-08:00

Hi Ladies:

I know that this isn't the most creative title for a blog, but I think it gets the point across. Maybe if someone comes up with a better name... We can put it to a vote.

I have invited nine vibrant, wonderful people to be co-authors on this blog. I keep using my blog to kvetch about my husband, kids and life, and that really isn't fair to them, is it? Once I realized that more than one person could write on a blog, an idea began to take shape.

My hope is that this will become a kind of "online forum" for us to share ideas, suggestions, complaints, ask questions, that sort of thing. It is hopefully going to be a team blog. Feel free to direct other mothers to read what we come up with, leave posts, etc.

First order of business - we need some inspirational mommy quotes. Here's one from me:

"Motherhood has no rules, report cards, or grades. Its only gudelines are these: Trust in yourself, believe in your child, and listen to your heart."

Isn't that inspirational?

Okay, I can hear a few of you asking "who is this woman?" Its me, really, I'll have lots of stuff to spew about as time passes, don't worry. I promise to keep my politics out. Mostly.

I hope this works, and we end up with a lively group. Two women I've invited are expecting children, one her first child, one her second boy (congrats! How about Jesse for a name?). We have moms of single children, two kids and even some of us with three (and of that group, one mom has twins). Some have older children, and will be able to field lots of quesitons. Ha! Like they have time, eh Barbara!! Some mothers are working moms, others are stay at home. Some are single moms, others are married moms, and still others are married moms who want to be single. As I said, I've tried for a diverse group.

Okay, that's it for this post. I'll give it a month, and if it gets off the ground, great.

Ciao for now!
Heidi